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Ah. Valentine’s Day and love is in the air. I can smell the stench of it from here. Wait, that’s just Himself cooking his own breakfast. He always lets the pan get too hot. I bet you all are wondering how Himself and I celebrate our love, aren’t you? Even if you aren’t wondering I am going to tell you because it’s my blog and I get to do what I want!

We have a great Valentine’s tradition that we started about 10 years ago. It is so easy you may want to start the same tradition yourself. What we do is…nothing. Yep nothing, nada, zip. We don’t say “Happy Valentine’s Day” we don’t buy cards, light candles, take bubble baths, feed each other strawberries and chocolate gaze into each other’s eyes over an expensive dinner, nothin’. We are so romantical!!!

I am not a Valentine’s day scrooge, I did all the handmade Valentine’s cards with the kids and made Valentine’s treats for their classes and went to the little class parties and glued glitter on to shoebox mailboxes…and hated every minute of it… I totally AM the Valentine’s Scrooge.

I hate this holiday, I’ve tried, I really have, but it feels SO contrived. I have never had one Valentine’s date that didn’t feel forced and expected. Himself used to try to be romantic, but it was so..so…lame. But he get’s an A for effort.

In fact 18 years ago Himself proposed to me on Valentine’s Day. It was WONDERFUL and by wonderful I totally mean awkward to the point of comical.

No neighborhood/family flash mob.

No movie trailer proposal

No jumbotron, skywriting, billboards, scuba divers, light shows  or choreographed rabbis

What we had was the awkward get down on one knee, hold out a ring with a shaking hand and stammer through a rehearsed proposal. Don’t get me wrong I can’t watch most of those proposals without doing the ugly cry, but the fact is it’s not us. We did the Valentine’s dates for several years and they were all forced and horrible and cheesy and well not us. Gradually we just stopped doing Valentine’s Day altogether.

Honestly, I don’t think Himself is even aware that it is Valentine’s Day because he hasn’t turned on the TV and he doesn’t do facebook. What he has done this morning is make me a cup of coffee and cleaned the kitchen so I could have a few minutes to write. What he does on a daily basis is make me laugh, support my dreams, love our children and put up with my shit. When it comes to the standard idea of romance he stinks. Seriously. He is a horrible gift giver and an even worse surpriser. The one Valentine’s card he bought me he grabbed and stuck in an envelope and handed to me with no personal message. Folks, he didn’t even SIGN it! But he is great at being there when I need him and he also knows when to stay the hell away from me!

So we have redefined romance and it works for us. So enjoy your roses, and your chocolates, your candlelight and wine, all those things are great as long as they are authentic, but if it’s just because that is what’s expected maybe you would do well defining what romance means to the two of you.

With that I leave you with “our” song. It is very romantical…just like us.

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