, , , ,

So I have been back from Mommycation for over a week now and I am just getting around to writing a post. Coming back from Mommycation is a lot of work! My guys did a great job without me, the house was pretty clean when I got home and everyone smelled as if they had showered sometime in the last 24 hours, but things needed…let’s say tweaking.

The dishes were washed which I totally wasn’t expecting because I am one of those lame people without a dishwasher. This means my guys actually ran a sink of dishwater, scrubbed the dishes, dried the dishes and put them away. I know, now you’re impressed too, huh? The thing is (and I’m not complaining) none of the dishes got put back in the right place. This confuses me only because I assume they GOT the dishes from one place and then instantly forgot where that place was. But like I said, not complaining, just still searching for a vegetable peeler (there was peeling of vegetables going on while I was gone!) and a small colander. No biggie.

The Laundry was mostly caught up which I have to admit is not something that happens when I am home. So, WTG Dad! I did, however, find a pair of my teenager’s jeans in my drawer which I think may have been wishful thinking on Himself’s part, because there’s not a chance in the world my ass is fitting into the jeans of a 14 year-old boy. Also…my legs aren’t that long.  Again, not complaining, but observing that perhaps I am still needed. They really did do a terrific job here without me, which is great, a little sad, but great.

So how was the trip? I know you are all dying to hear. It was fantabulous! I was happy to hear that the cruise line was not going to charge me for an extra passenger as I brought Aunt Flo along, because it was my first vacation away from my kids and my life is hilarious like that. I also arrived home with a lovely case of Montezuma’s Revenge. LOL amirite? But seriously aside from those two things, It was a hoot!

Not only did we laugh A LOT, but we didn’t have to do any laundry or dishes or well, anything. There was a whole crew of nice foreign gentlemen to attend to our every need. They cleaned our room, made our beds, washed our towels, served our food and put up with some very obnoxious comments from a group of women who let’s face it may not have been old enough to be their mothers, but were definitely old enough to be their mothers’ hot younger friend.

I do hope they get paid well because they really did put up with a lot. Of course they had their fun as well. I think maybe leaving a giant vagina on our bed may have  been taking things a bit far on their part, but we had a good laugh and then I took a shower and wrapped that mothereffin’ vagina around my head!

Yeah, they said it was a walrus, but a couple of flippers can’t hide the fact that this is clearly a terry-cloth vagina.

I think after the holidays I will be ready for Mommycation part II! Everyone who thinks that is a great idea raise your wineglass!