Today I am going to tell you about one of my husband’s most embarrassing moments. I have the right to blog about his embarrassment because he blames it all on me. Can you believe it? I couldn’t either. I know that I am a bit quirky and outspoken and prone to singing in the grocery store . . . in other words AWESOME! So I don’t know how anyone could be embarrassed by anything that I do.
Evidently the way I do laundry has left my husband open to all kinds of embarrassment and ridicule. Did I turn all his undies pink? Did I use female pheromone scented laundry soap? No! Much, much worse! I used a sheet fabric softener in the dryer. I will now go and collect my worst wife of the year award.
His complaint was not how wonderfully soft and static free his work pants were, it was that – brace yourselves- one of the sheets fabric softener evidently made it’s way into his pant leg only to emerge from the cuff in front of all the other guys! GASP!!!!
How embarrassing!!!! Believe me he is scarred for life! There is no getting over the fact that all the guys at work now know that he is wearing laundered pants! Oh, the humanity!!!
Evidently when one is folding clothes one is supposed to check the insides of the pant legs for rogue dryer sheets. I know, I too was unaware of this for the first 25 years of my laundering life. But if this step is skipped you may well ruin your husbands life. Frankly, I think if the clothes make it through the laundry and end up folded in the drawer I win!
You think I am joking but this has become a hot button issue in our house, Since the “great fabric softener” debacle every time Himself sees a sheet of fabric softener next to the laundry I’m folding he feels the need to ask “Are you going to throw that away?” And being the loving wife that I am and because I completely understand that I have caused him to have a phobia of fabric softener, I do my best to calm his fears “The fabric softener? Why would I throw that away? I keep those to slip into your pant legs whenever you annoy me.” He really gets my sarcasm and totally trusts me which is why he always scowls and says “NOT FUNNY!” and then grabs the sheet of fabric softener and throws it away himself while I holler “Hey! Where are you going with that? I think there is a pant leg here without a sheet of fabric softener in it!”
I guess I don’t really understand being embarrassed by a sheet of fabric softener. I mean come on, it’s not like it is a tampon string hanging out of your shorts or anything. His reasoning is “everyone will think I am a bachelor.” again, GASP!!! I counter with “The only thing people are going to think is that you are wearing clean pants.”
Actually I have come up with a great solution thanks to one of my favorite bloggers over at The Bearded Iris she has these great fabric softener balls that she crocheted. They are awesome and they look like boobies!!!
I honestly think that these wonderful boobies may be the answer to our problem because while having a sheet of fabric softener hanging out of the cuff of your pants at work is super embarrassing and worth complaining about for months on end, having a crocheted boobie roll out of your pant leg…not embarrassing AT ALL!
(insert maniacal laughter here)